What are you looking for?

Everyone is searching for something. Even atheists, evolutionists, and others are still searching. They fight to explain why and how we are here, trying to scientifically validate the lack of God through the "intelligent soup" idea. Historically the  searching has drastically changed, yet we as humans are still searching, searching to find the easy way to God, the get there as quick as possible with as little work as possible, developing new theories, religions, lifestyles, and ultimately EXCUSES. So what exactly are we searching for? In biblical times, when the presence of God was never doubted, they searched for "their own" God, building their own idols to worship, imagining that a piece of wood or other material they had just created would some how have a divine power over all who bowed before it. 

"16 Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, "Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!"

17 And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and says, "Deliver me, for you are my god!"

They searched, we searched, we place things in front of our God, things that make us happy, give us pleasure at that very moment, yet aren't completely satisfying, so we move on to the next thing that will fill our satisfaction for fun, for life, for whatever it is we are seeking. What is your God? That's easy to answer you say? You're right, we may not physically build things in place of God but not so fast, take a deeper look at the question, I'll rephrase it. What things do you put in front of God? Is it the search of wealth, drugs, alcohol, sex, relationships, FUN, personal satisfaction and etc? What are you seeking? What fills your day-to-day life? Is it Godly? Though we search through different venues, the searching is still there, whether through science or through satisfactions, we as humans have the desire to figure it out, to explain, to understand... is it that hard to understand? "in the beginning was... GOD." The accepting part is what we struggle with, living a christian life isn't "Sexy", but it is right... "I came so that you might have life... more ABUNDANTLY." A full life is what I am seeking, and apart from God there will never be true content. Live it, learn it, love it and through that CHANGE OTHERS, it becomes infectious, after-all its in the framework of this very nation, the Pursuit of Happiness, everyone wants to be happy, and true happiness comes only through Jesus Christ. But the charge doesn't stop there does it, once we get there, once we get it, what do you do with it? Do you bury it in the field to save, or do you invest? Invest in God's kingdom and the rewards of your labor will be multiplied, store up your treasures in heaven, they won't rust, or fail, or go broke... THEY ARE ETERNAL. The search for what exactly I was searching for may be over, but the seeking of God will never end. Today's challenge, be a doer of the word and not just a hearer....

Home

Standing atop a mountain overlooking what seems like just about the whole world, my mind began to drift. No it wasn't a day dream or some random ideas bouncing around my head with no purpose, rather it was much more than that. I began to contemplate the idea of home. There are the countless cliche' sayings.... "home is where the heart is" and many like that but that still didn't and doesn't seem to define home to me. When do you get to a place, set down, stretch out and in ultimate relaxation think "Now this is home"? Though the whole world may mock and scoff at your destination you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you are home. Standing in awe in the presence of the things that God created I felt the slightest hint of this feeling. With the sun completely hidden, the coolness of night bestowed fully upon me, I looked to the sky, I saw the stars dancing their lights on the mountains below, heard the faint noises of animals off in the distance and thought "my heart is at ease here god." yet somehow that was weird to me... maybe it was just the beauty or serenity, momentarily blinding my judgement. How can home be so far away from the ones you love? Yet again it happened, climbing to the top of a snow covered mountain, making my way to a rock overlooking a frozen lake, standing below peaks of mountains thrusting themselves upwards toward the sun, I sat staring at a background only God himself could have painted... and I was home. What I realized though, it wasn't the setting, the place, or the beauty. It was something much more than that, something so completely obvious that I looked right past it. Each time, scratch that, every time I had that feeling of "home" there remained a constant, the setting was different each time, the season, and even the emotion, but something was always there. FAMILY. I was once asked a question on a church trip to a Third Day concert, a college leader began to question me about my family size, the typical, "WoW there are 11( at the time, now its 12) kids in your family?" "No WAY!" and etc., after answering the typical awe filled question she asked a more serious even alarming question. She simply said, "With a family that large, do you feel like your parents aren't able to give you the attention you need, I mean how can two people give that many kids all of the attention they need to grow up correctly..?"  I was shocked... mad! Being the smart aleck 7th grader I was, the snotty answer I replied with was, "obviously you're parents didn't have enough attention to give you because if they did they would have taught you to not ask such rude questions." She knew she had obviously struck a nerve and turned away to again watch the concert. But it didn't end there for me, I was so upset it ruined my night, I even told my oldest brother about it... LOL. But what did come out of that exchange was something that at the time I thought was upsetting but now I realize is so importantly positive. I realized that my family was different. (duh stupid there are 11 of you) I had always known the size caused us to be different, but I figured myself to be a normal kid in a different sized family, boy was I wrong. To prove how wrong I came up with a list.... 1. My dad is a pastor (thats different) 2. My Mom is superwoman (not everyone has a super-hero as their mother) 3. Christ was always at the center of my family, not always by us kids choice, but mandated by superwoman and My dad. 4. We all basically loved each other.... that's different. 5. the first 9 of us were boys... ok I'll stop the list because obviously you can see that my family is, lets say "unique". You can see why I was upset at the time, a 7th grade boy, going through some weird change had just been told basically he was weird, again BOY WAS I WRONG. The "differentness" of my family is something I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world, it's something I wish every person in this world could have experienced.... the "differentness" is home. No matter where it is, my heart is at ease when I am with my family. It could be in North Dakota, Colorado, Oklahoma, Michigan, or the ends of the earth, but if one of my siblings or my parents are there, then I am home. Home is where my family is, and that college leader couldn't have been more wrong, the love that came out of my home was more than abundant, after all my mom is SUPERWOMAN...

The RIGHT time

Why does it always seem that our time, or human time, is so much different from God's timing? I want what I want, and I know that right now is the time I absolutely, positively, 100%, without a doubt NEED it.... sound familiar? Most of the time, we don't get what we think we need, and even at sometimes become absolutely frustrated, even angered with God. This may seem humorous but many times the situations are the complete opposite... financial issues, illness, job, family issues and etc, all very pressing urgent needs, needs that HAVE TO be met, but aren't... at least not on our timeline. But why? I mean we serve a merciful God, that's evident (if you don't believe me see THE CROSS) and he obviously wants what is best for us, wants for us to be content, so why would he allow this to happen? ... finishing this thought, it hit me. Selfishness. WAIT, STOP THE TRAIN, THIS GUY CAN'T BE SERIOUS... but honestly, take a few breaths look and the mirror and realize it... because it's true. God's timing is THE RIGHT timing, How can it be wrong? No matter the hurt, stress, frustration, even anger, he is right and will continue to be right (stealing a line from SANDLOT) FOR-EV-ER! 

"In a time of favor I have answered you; in a day of salvation I have helped you; I will keep you and give you as a covenant to the people, to establish the land, to apportion the desolate heritages," 

Realizing this, the "RIGHTNESS" of God is no doubt frustrating, and waiting for his timing is no doubt again frustrating, but after all it is the right thing. Take comfort in knowing we serve the only thing/person/being etc. that will ever be 100% reliable and right.

What's your reason?

Sitting in church today (a different church than usual), a thought ran through my head, the thought, as most thoughts are, was provoked by what I was hearing. Intentional or not, what I heard from the message was seeking God (aka being a christian) was about the things we received. The main point was eternal life, but thinking through this, we as christians no doubt do receive many "gifts" or things we undoubtedly do not deserve at all. But what struck the wrong chord with me was solely seeking this life or God to attain those certain things. I may be completely in the wrong, but I doubt that eternal life SOLELY, is the reason God wants us to follow him. I couldn't get passed that in my head, and even hours later the idea and concepts were still rapidly churning in my mind and led me to a conclusion or rather a challenge. How do you view your christian life, or what are you reasons? Do you simply do the church thing in order to "feel good about yourself" and the week behind/ahead of you? Is it in fear of "THE WRATH OF GOD, or hell"? and etc. You see, I feel like it HAS to be much more than that, though being a christian should and does make you feel good about yourself and the life you live, and the wrath of god and hell are REALLY real reasons, focusing solely on one thing defining your christianity has to be wrong... doesn't it? Relationship, friendship, and etc. should be your walk with God, a personal relationship, and like any friendship or relationship, if you only seek that relationship for selfish reasons then is it real? Likewise if we only seek our relationship with God for selfish desires, eternal life SOLELY, then is it real? 

Just a thought...

Once again, I stare at a blank white screen, hoping to at some point fill it up with letters, forming words, forming sentences, forming paragraphs, and ultimately stating some point or thought... but I don't know what that point or thought is yet... I mean it's not like I don't have any points or thoughts in my head, actually its the exact opposite, I have thousands upon thousands of ideas, thoughts, feelings, opinions and etc. stampeding through my brain, the problem is getting ahold of one of those stampeding thoughts, putting a saddle on it and portraying to the "world" what this crazy mind of mine thinks. I feel like part of the problem is too many things in my head would rustle  too many feathers because I may be too opinionated... lets go with that. How can someone be too opinionated anyways? Whose opinions determine that you're opinions should be suppressed? When do these so called opinions become truths and therefore we as humans conform to them, believing we must must MUST practice or partake in that or we will be seen as social outcasts? I am certainly not looking for the answers to these questions... because the REAL answer is that no one knows the answers. Honestly, there is no possible way you can have the 100% right answer to the above questions, I mean you can blanket them all and say God... but other than that, save precious time and don't try to tell me some self formulated bull crap... k thanks lol. You see the problem I think I have is that i suppress too many of these above thoughts. I have lost all faith in the U.S. political regime as it stands. Don't try to change my mind and say I am being extreme, or give me the bible verse saying how God sets up rulers and takes them away... yeah I know and he sometimes sets up rulers to ruin a country ever think of that? What has government done for you lately? "Oh they are bailing out our economy..." So wait you're telling me the government is giving money to companies who have leaders who make extremely poor decisions, which in turn causes them to go bankrupt, which means we just give them money to try the whole "game" of business again? SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN TO ME. Keep on creating those SUV's Americans will buy them trust me... make hybrid cars that sell for 30 grand, Americans can afford them... seriously, once I get a job where I can afford to buy a new car I'm buying Toyota or Volkswagen or some foreign car, I will not invest in the stupidity of America. I think the Preamble to the Constitution needs to be changed to. "We the people Of the United States, in order to spend money we don't have, live lives we cannot afford, support business leaders who are ignorant, do ordain and establish this Constitution so that if you go bankrupt we will just print more money and all participate in this wonderful game of Monopoly..." then add amen to the end just for dramatic effect. I think politicians are stupid, I think our President may be educated, but he too is stupid... the fall of modern democracies historically happens when one of two things happens. you a. raise taxes in economic recessions or b. fall away from christianity. HMMMMMMMMM? and you tell me that losing faith in our Political system is anti American, I have no patriotism right? Oh WAIT, I have a grand idea, lets tax the living (insert expletive) out of the rich just because they are doing better than others, create a system of economics where everyone makes the same amount of money, have a Federal Government that seems to be having the same 'roid rage problems the MLB is having only this time in an economic sense, and maybe try and make everyone look and dress the same. OH HEY HITLER, thanks for letting me borrow your ideas for our country.... what? You don't want me to tell anyone your hiding in tunnels under Germany? Oh, don't worry about that, if you were arrested who would I get my ideas from? Yeah, I'll tell Michelle and the kids you said hello, take care bud, ok you too bye.....

The rant of a lifetime...

I haven't posted in a while. There are many reasons for that, I was extremely sick, weighed down with school, and etc., but the real reason is what is there to write about? I struggle to just write about nothing. But then again nothing would be something wouldn't it? I have honestly come to the screen for new posts, stared blankly at the empty white box, then decided to exit out and fulfill my need for mindless cyber entertainment. My mind has run empty, I sit inside the proverbial writers block, clawing my way out of the padded walls that encompass my mind, yet for some reason I can't. Think outside the box right? But what the heck is the box? I don't know if its because I am uninspired, but it can't be that because I am in fact inspired everyday. I feel like I am trying to hard. Trying to pour out this intellectual or rhetorical bull crap in hopes of impressing someone, which in turn might allow them to think I am smart.... seems useless huh? lol. I feel as though the world is taking part in some type of musical or ballet, walking on egg shells, putting on faces or costumes for each different scene they decide to act out or participate in for the day, or portion of day, or week, or year or lifetime or etc. What's the point? just read the words in the red... be intentional! Seriously, think about it... you ask someone how they are doing when you pass them in the hall, street, store etc. But you really don't care how they are doing, its just some sort of social norm to say hi how are ya? Most of the time the answer is good, you? And the ballet continues, you dance around, jumping up spinning loops with your arms over your head on your toes, and then continue on your day. Why can't the real questions ever be asked? How are you and God doing? Do you believe in God? Whens the last time you read the Bible, or prayed, or went to church? Uncomfortable huh? CONVICTION isn't supposed to be comfortable, yet we dance and act and sing all for no utterly no reason at all, merely to play this game of life adequately for the day and go home and sleep, resting for the next scene or act you are required to partake in. Let's all be politically correct O.K.? So we are supposed to accept the fact babies are killed, support a sin God calls abominable, vote for tax evaders, liars, adulterers and etc? Yes thats what I want to support as a christian... wait we are supposed to have our christian life impact our political decision? No way, you can't be serious... I just like how the guy sounds, I never really thought God had anything to do with it...? Seriously, I know it sounds satirical but it is so obvious thats what people do... How can anyone support biblically voting for a candidate who agrees with the above? THEY CAN'T, but again there is that separation of church and state thing right... and again it becomes laughable. I was watching Rush give his address to the nation and the truths of his speech became so evident.(minus the fact he thought he was quoting the Constitution when in reality it was the Declaration of Independence but lets looks past that.) Lets all portray the image of no hope at all so Americans feel hopeless, then I can come riding in on my white horse, wave my magic wand creating money that doesn't exist, say change about 1.4 billion times and cross my fingers, rub my lucky rabbits foot, throw salt over my shoulder, execute all black cats in the world, and hope to God, or Allah or Satan (whichever you think I should believe in) that it works. The Ballet continues... GET REAL! Now nothing has in fact become something... The President and I are both MAGIC!

WHY?

I don't know about the rest of you, but my first response to a question or situation is probably why? Sometimes this can be a very helpful aspect, but at many times it also can be extremely hindering to things. The "why" question I have been wrestling with the past few days (maybe weeks) is, Why are we here? The answer to some might seem quite simple, you're at school to become educated and through that education sustain a living, you are at your job to sustain the living of the aforementioned, you are at the gym to work out, and etc. But to me the answers seem much deeper than just black and white. The why I struggle with is in fact much deeper than why am I at MSU? The real question is not just why am I here, rather it is, For what purpose have I been placed here? How can I better myself and others while in this situation? I firmly believe that I am where I am because God has a plan for me, but I have been struggling to find that plan... patience isn't a strong suit of mine. So what then is my purpose? I know its to love The Lord with all my heart and love my neighbor as myself, and the litany continues, but what is my use or calling? I think of some of the great people of history, what if Martin Luther missed his call to develop his thesis? What if Abraham Lincoln completely missed his calling, or Martin Luther King Jr. missed his? What if The Founding Fathers were oblivious to what they were meant to do? It's always fun to play the what if game, but the fact of the matter is they didn't... so then how do you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are doing what you are destined to do? There is after all a greater cause isn't there? The ripples in the pond or butterfly effect all are originated by something... So why am I here? How do I find the thing I was wired to do in life? The answer is simple in finding yet difficult in application.... I'll leave it up to you to determine just what that answer is...